“There’s all this talk now about self-care and surviving these Covid times,” Colleen
said as she sat down to join her friends at the park picnic table. “But this is
becoming one more thing I feel badly about as a mom, because somehow I’m not
able to do it.”
Angela and Meg nodded in agreement. The three moms had been meeting
weekly since the Covid lockdown. They sometimes met on Zoom, but they
preferred meeting in parks or school parking lots where they could stand outside
their cars arranged in a circle.
“What I want to know is how are we supposed to do self-care when we don’t
have time, energy or privacy?” Colleen continued.
“Well, that’s the reason we decided to watch Shonda Rhimes Ted Talk,” * Angela
said. “She got so burnt out from overwork that it forced her to take time off…her
hum stopped as she would say….. she didn’t have time for herself or her three
kids. I can relate…. I got depressed from overwork and no time with my kids, but
then I lost my job cuz of Covid….now I’m home fulltime, but with no job and
depressed!” Angela laughed, and Meg and colleen joined her.
“At least we can laugh,” Meg said. “And we are doing something for ourselves.
This group is for us. Even when we’re not meeting, we can text each other for
support, no questions asked.”
“Yeah, this group has saved my life,” Colleen joined in. “Beats drinking and
overeating, my usual go-to remedies.”
The moms raised their coffee cups in a toast to themselves.
“So, I wrote down some of Shonda’s advice,” Angela continued. “Find the
hum…the real hum, say yes to play and no to work, take fifteen minutes to feed
the real hum….”
“What the hell is the real hum?” Colleen interrupted. “I mean, I don’t know what
makes me hum!”
“That’s her point,” Angela said. “We need to find it if we don’t know… the hum is
like God whispering in your ear, Shonda would say, reconnecting you to your
essence…. could simply be taking a bath, reading a book, dancing in the kitchen,
taking a walk…the point is to find fifteen minutes a day to do it.”
“I get it,” Meg said. “My hum is time alone. Every mom I know is looking for it
since Covid grounded us for 24/7.”
“Yeah, I know moms who lock themselves in their bedrooms or even their
bathrooms to get privacy,” Colleen said, laughing. “Some take a drive so they can
talk freely….oh my god, it’s like we’re teenagers….hiding in our rooms and
escaping our homes, so no one will hear us!”
Meg and Angela began laughing too.
“You both have partners.” Meg became serious. “I can’t lock myself away from
my kids.”
“Your mom’s part of your bubble,” Angela said. “Drop the kids with her… just
imagine fifteen minutes a day, maybe more, with no work or responsibilities…”
They sat for a while without speaking. Quiet became their hum…. for the
moment.
*Shonda Rhimes is a television producer, screenwriter and author best known for
Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder. Her current hit is
Bridgerton (Netflix). In 2016 she gave a TED Talk, “My Year of Saying Yes to
Everything.”
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