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Parenting: Learning from the Elders

Updated: Jan 25, 2021

Ruth Bader Ginsberg

AKA

The Notorious R.B. G.


“I can’t believe she died! How can she do this to us?” Rebecca had FaceTimed her older sister in Baltimore.


Anna nodded, tears in her eyes.


“I want to grow up and be just like RBG,” Rebecca continued. “She was the first badass older woman I knew…smart, fierce, strategic. She was so cool, big glasses and all.”


Both girls laughed.


“Hey, I need to talk to you about something else.” Anna got serious. “I emailed my boss to ask for advice about this guy in my lab who has stopped talking to me.”


“You mean your boss who’s the chair of your department?”


“Yeah, but that’s irrelevant. He told me not to take this guy seriously, because he has trouble with strong women.”

“No way! Isn’t he the same guy who blocked you on Twitter and Facebook?” Rebecca asked.


“Yeah, me and several other female colleagues. I don’t care so much that he blocked me, it’s more because we all share articles, grant opportunities and other science news on social media.”


“Blocking you is kind of like not being invited to the golf game with the CEO’s,” Mike chimed in from his office in the next room.


“Dad, what’s that got to do with this?” Rebecca said.


“Golf games are where a lot of contacts are made and deals brokered. If you’re not in the game, you miss out on the deal,” Mike explained.


“RBG talked about this. “Women belong in all the places where decisions are being made,” said Rebecca.

“Exactly.” Mike said. “Bring that iPad closer so I can see Anna. What’d you tell your boss?”


“I haven’t answered him yet,” Anna said. “I’m so tired of this sh*t.”


“What would RBG tell you to do?” Mike asked with a slight smile.


“Dad, this is science, not law.”


“I know, but similar power structures, white men on top….my point is how’d RBG handle these obstacles?”


“She didn’t let them stop her,” Rebecca answered for her sister. “I’m about to graduate college and I want to be a force to be reckoned with just like her.”


“You guys don’t understand,” Anna said. “I don’t want to bother him with my personal stuff.”


“The personal IS political,” Mike interrupted. “If some male colleague is threatened by your intelligence, that affects your work environment.”


“So what do I write back?” Anna tried not to sound defeated.


“Educate him,” Mike said. “You’re a postdoc at a world renowned university, so be bold. Suggest the lab develop guidelines around social media…like not blocking fellow lab members for starters. But your boss calling you a strong woman is something else….actually, it’s prejudice. Do you refer to your bright male colleagues as strong men?”


“Dad, I can’t do this,” Anna now felt overwhelmed.


“Yes, you can,” Mike insisted. “I’ll help you.”


“I’ll help you too,” Rebecca said. “RBG didn’t work alone. Her husband and others supported her. We’ll support you too.”


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